A lot happens between two blog posts for me. This time, it was (is ongoing) a journal article, a number of musical compositions, a whole lot of reading on at least three different aspects of mental illness research, tending to the dogs, an attack of cough and chest congestion (still on), putting a new garden in place and I don’t know what else.
Its September end, so technically it is autumn here- the heat has subsided and the last two days of rain have actually hastened the pace of the oncoming winter, I fear. I am not too fond of being bundled under layers of clothes and trying to keep myself warm on a chair.
The article that I am currently writing is a direct outcome of my research- especially the data that I am collecting in research. My ‘data’ is basically stories or narratives of people’s brush with psychosis- a lot of things come out when you listen to stories and that of course also depends upon the questions you ask. But the next stage, is going to be the real challenge- the data interpretation one. At present the struggle is to get the data set together before embarking on that journey.
Changing the way things look leads to newer insights, growth and outcomes. What fits ideas also fits with physical spaces. For the last one year I had been thinking that the backyard needs to be remodeled. Low level of sunlight does not augur well for grass and having a lawn where you do not even sit on one day in a year, makes no sense. After much thought and planning I am now changing it. Here are the four stages of the garden just for a reminder to myself, before the past is forever replaced.
Putting a new garden in place is a lot of thinking first. Especially if the only resources you have are your own mental ones, backed by a little money. I do not like to bring in professionals, though no doubt they would have all the ideas- and a big list of options to choose from. But I feel that for a garden I should just stick to what I can afford and what I want, rather than someone telling me how to do what. I am being frugal and I am letting myself experiment here. How else does one learn? If we keep taking everything from the market itself, because we feel those who are in the market know better (which they may because they have spent years training for the work) the whole world starts looking alike. I want to look like myself- even my home should be like me- relaxed, calm, a sense of joy and a variety of plants, books, etc etc.
Maintaining a lawn is always an issue, and no lawn survives without careful maintenance. It was a big step for me to consider pulling the lawn out completely- mostly a big step in my head first. And then I began to conceptualize what I want instead. So I decided I want flowers and flowers and yes vegetables.
What purpose the lawn serves is going to be much less than what flowers and homegrown vegetables serve me. So there you go- the grass was pulled out and I sat thinking now what is to be done.
I made a few designs and then decided that I need to build that slowly. So I first measured the piece and decided to cut out a few straight beds. The wall side, which is to the left in this picture is where I made a vegetable bed. Also the wall adjacent to it- where there were green vegetables last year as well.
After that all the center is left. So I have cut out more spaces that are independent units in it. I am still watching the play of sun and shade, and this is still autumn. I know that in the winter the patterns will be entirely different. The trees also have to be pruned and trimmed. So on the whole, things are looking different.
At present things have already moved forward from this stage, and the seeds have been bought for everything. There is a whole lot of investment done in plants, manure, earth and bricks etc. More will be needed still- I am still holding it in my mind, like the Rubik Cube.
A change of perspective is usually generative. It made me also somewhere change the idea of the Hansadhani Foundation, which I have been feeling was something dead and difficult at the moment- considering it is such a small thing. SO I decided to put it on a back burner and carry on work independently, as myself. As an entrepreneur. I have already put SwarGanga together and I intend to do more with it. Hopefully Antardhwanee will also come together soon.
In the next blog post that I write, I hope there will be better things. Raga is stable – better than earlier now that I have figured the mix to feed her. She was simply not eating earlier and neither much urinary output, which is a sign that the kidneys are not working well. Adding a little Psyllium Husk to her food has made her bowels stable and changing the food to simply putting mutton instead of chicken has also helped. I know of course she is living on borrowed time- but till as long as she does, it should be nice, easy and comfortable. Naturally I am doing all within my means to ensure that.